Dear Old Dad

On this Father’s Day I am remembering my father, Aaron Primas.  When he would call me he would announce himself by referring to himself as “Dear Old Dad."

As I was driving a very nice rental car last week, I was thinking about my Dad and how we shared an interest in cars.  He would have liked the one I was driving.  I also remembered my last visit with him before he died.

Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor on Dec 31, 2004.  He and Mom returned to their Florida condo the next week with the plan to have Dad in hospice care.  The prognosis he was given was 6 to 9 months.  Based on my experience as a nurse, I did not think it would be that long.  

Aaron Primas - Feb 15 2005

In February 2005, I traveled to Florida to spend a long weekend with my parents.  Even though Dad couldn’t really speak at that time, he could make his needs known.  He was able to watch TV and knew what was going on around him.  One sunny day, Mom said “why don’t you take him out for a ride in Buttercup?”

Buttercup was a 1988 Rolls Royce Corniche convertible that was Dad’s pride and joy.  The pale yellow color inspired the name of Buttercup.  

Dad and Buttercup

It was too cold to put the top down, but we went for a ride.  I headed out to I-75 so we could cruise for a while.  Once on the highway, Dad kept leaning way over to look at the speedometer.  His vision was affected, so he had to really almost get in front of me to look at the dashboard.  Now you need to understand that no one in our family drives slowly.  We aren’t crazy drivers, but we appreciate the “need for speed.”   After about the third time he leaned over, I asked him “how fast have you driven this car?”  He said “eleven hundred” which I interpreted to mean 110 mph and he agreed.  At the time I was doing 75 mph as that was the speed limit and traffic was heavy.  He started waving his hand forward as if to say “go faster” and so I sped up a bit.  He still didn’t seem happy but at 90 mph I told him the traffic was too heavy to go any faster.  If I could have made it to 100 mph I would have, just for him.  He leaned back and seemed content.  So we cruised down the interstate and then at a convenient interchange, I turned around and headed back.  He didn’t say anything else during the trip but seemed to enjoy himself.  When we returned, Mom asked if we had a nice ride and he nodded and smiled.

The day I left, Mom walked me to the elevator and told me “I will bring him back to Villa Park in May” which was their usual time to return from Florida.  I just nodded as I could not speak, but I knew that I would not see my father again alive.

I drove their family car to the airport, locked it up with the key under the floor mat and made note of the parking space.  I called my sister Amy and let her know where to find the car.  She was flying down the next day and would drive the car back. 

Dad died in hospice care on March 4, 2005.  I still miss him.

A Memorable Christmas

Caron's First Christmas
Carol and Aaron with Taffy (the dog) and Caron

Our family has always had strong Christmas traditions.  Family is always the focal point.  Every Christmas morning from the year I was born and lasting 40 years, my parents hosted a casual Christmas breakfast for family and friends.  People would drop by on their way to and from other places.  We served a continental breakfast:  breakfast breads, grapefruit, juices, coffee, egg casseroles in later years, and lots of Christmas cookies.

My mother had a guideline for Christmas gifts for her children she used over the years and I adopted:  something to read, something to play with and something to wear. 

I do not know if my sisters will remember but in 1965 we were living in Wheaton Illinois at the end of a dead end road in an unincorporated area – a rural feeling atmosphere.  Dad was working hard to make his new business a success, traveling a lot, and Mom told us (or maybe just me) that there was not a lot of money for Christmas this year and not to expect too much.

I did not think too much about it until Christmas morning.  Donna and I had a few gifts under the tree.  We each got a book and a new sweater/skirt outfit.  I do not remember what Amy received, but she was still very young and probably had an outfit and a book as well.  After we opened the gifts under the tree and from our Christmas stockings, Dad told us to go get the stuff for breakfast from the garage refrigerator.   He insisted that both of us go do this chore together.  Imagine our surprise when we opened the door to the attached garage and saw shiny new bicycles with our names on them sitting there!  We were very excited as the bikes would give us more freedom to get around and to get to school.  While it may not have been my best Christmas ever, it certainly is one of my most memorable!

New Bikes!  Amy, Donna and Caron

What is in a Name?

Genealogy Tip of the Day
Names that Appear from Nowhere

Those middle or first names of family members that appear out of the blue could be from relatives you do not yet know about, famous people, locations, or someone's maiden name.

And it is always possible your ancestor simply pulled the name out of thin air.

Used with permission © Michael John Neill, “Genealogy Tip of the Day,” http://genealogytipoftheday.blogspot.com, 7 Aug 2013.

The 3 Merles

                      When I read this tip it resonated with me!  I share a middle name with my mother, who was named for her maternal aunt and godmother.  All three of us have October birthdays.   My children have their own unique first names, but their middle names are after family members.  My sister used the same naming convention with her children – unique first name, family middle name.

                In doing family history research, it is apparent that there were naming conventions in many of my “branches.”  One direct line has 5 generations of Henrys, along with a plethora of Samuels, Benjamins and Williams!   We also have three women in three generations named Merle in our family tree.  Merle Davies was my great-grandmother Mamie’s younger sister.  (Mamie’s full name was Mary Elizabeth Davies Kell.)  Mamie named her daughter Merle Elizabeth.  Merle Elizabeth then named her daughter Merle Jean.  The middle name Jean came from her younger sister, Sarah Jean.

                Recently my mother revealed how her daughters got their names in her Living Story.  It seems in high school my parents discovered that the middle letters of their first names were the same. When Mom found out she was pregnant, they assumed the baby would be a boy and he would be Aaron.  Surprise!  I turned out to be a girl, so they stayed with the middle letters and named me Caron. (The nurse in labor and delivery warned her that I would hate her for the unusual spelling, but I like it!)  During my mother’s second pregnancy, they once again anticipated a boy, who would be called Donald, after my father’s cousin.  Turns out it was a girl, my sister Donna, still named for her godfather Uncle Don!   When my mother was pregnant a third time, the baby was referred to as Amos by all of us.  When the baby was a girl, she was called Amy with her middle name for her godmother.

                My paternal grandmother gave her first born son family names as middle names.  My father was the second son.  She named him Aaron Leon.  Those names appear NOWHERE in our family tree.   She is no longer available to ask the origin of that name so I can only speculate.  She was a church-going lady and so perhaps Aaron was a Biblical reference.  No idea where Leon came from.  Asked my mom, she doesn't know either.  Another family mystery!